New Memoir
My Personal Mental Health Journey Encountering OCD, PTSD, and Depression — and what kept me above water.
This book is not just my story. It's a map. A mirror. A message. You are not alone. You are not broken. You are still here. And that means there is still time for healing.
A clear account of OCD, PTSD, and depression—without euphemism.
Moments of light that guide the recovery journey.
Language and perspective for loved ones and supporters.
"I absolutely would suggest your book to clients, in fact, I have one long-term client, in particular, NEEDS to hear your story. In reality, there are tons of my clients, and people in general, who will gain hope and feel understood because you shared your story."
"By bravely sharing her mental health struggles, Karen Gerson seeks to end the stigma associated with mental illness and offer hope and paths to healing for those struggling with mental health issues, as well as support and guidance for their loved ones. Karen's compassion, warmth, and non-judgmental style shine throughout the book, and you will want to reach into the pages and embrace her for her honesty, bravery, and unwavering perseverance."
This memoir reflects my personal journey with mental illness and is told through my memories and perspective. My hope is that it will resonate with those facing mental health challenges and with those who love and support them.
Mental illness doesn't just affect the person struggling—it ripples outward, touching everyone close. This is a resource for those living alongside someone with mental health challenges.
I include the voices of my loved ones in this book to give representation for those who walked beside me, even when they weren't sure how.
Throughout my journey, there were moments when I felt unreachable, but others were still reaching. Their reflections are honest, sometimes raw, and always rooted in love. They ask the questions you have probably wondered: What's going to help? What can I do differently? How do I support myself while supporting them? How much of myself do I need to give? Am I helping, or is this too much for me?
If you've ever asked yourself these questions and didn't know where to turn—I wrote this book for you.
You can order my book from Amazon now.
🎧 Coming soon: The audiobook version of I Should Not Be Here is in production and will be available before February 2026.
Join my mailing list to be notified when the audiobook is released, upcoming speaking events, as well as other news.
I shouldn't be here today.
I was a meek, brown-haired, shy girl whose elementary world was consumed with carefully stepping to avoid cracks and counting every step with precision. From the moment I woke up until my eyelids closed at night, this ritual dictated my every move. If I had the misfortune of stepping on a crack or losing count, an overwhelming fear took hold that something bad was going to happen.
I shouldn't be here today.
I was an uncomfortable, introverted, awkward teenager whose daily routine revolved around ensuring my closet remained in perfect order, with my clothes meticulously arranged from white to black. Afternoons were spent curled up in the back corner of that closet, creating a different life for myself, one that felt safer than the one I lived.
In high school, my emotionally fragile frame remained on high alert at all times. Whether walking alone or checking the back seat of my car as obsessive thoughts consumed me—constantly strategizing how to navigate the world without being taken, hurt, or simply seen.
I shouldn't be here today.
The painfully shy and inwardly chaotic teenager who feared walking two blocks to school, whose brain was filled with constant noise, somehow graduated from high school. That should not have been possible. My second-grade teacher, Mrs. D, once told my parents, "She is not going to amount to anything—she can't even use scissors properly." And yet, I am here.
I shouldn't be here today.
I was only accepted into college because, somehow, I must have interviewed well. I remember sitting in the admissions office at Stephens College, thinking, How the hell did I get here? I knew I had to nail this interview because I needed a path forward. How was I supposed to sit across from the dean, make eye contact, and answer questions like: Why do you want to go to Stephens College? What do you hope to accomplish here? Where do you see yourself after graduation? Looking someone in the eyes wasn't something I was used to. Eye contact meant vulnerability; it meant being seen. And for the past eighteen years, I had been hiding.
I shouldn't be here. And yet I am.
Karen B. Gerson is a writer, advocate, and survivor who uses her lived experience with mental illness to break stigma and inspire understanding. Her debut memoir, I Should Not Be Here, explores the ripple effects of OCD, PTSD, and depression—not only on those who live with them, but on the families and communities who love and support them. Through honesty, vulnerability, and hope, Karen’s work reminds readers that survival itself is an act of courage.
A lifelong educator and community leader, Karen has dedicated over twenty years to program development and youth engagement within the Jewish community. She has also worked extensively with First Call, an organization that reduces the impact of substance use disorder, where she serves as a member of the Board of Directors.
Born and raised in Columbus, Ohio, Karen earned her Bachelor of Science in K–8 Education from The Ohio State University and her Executive Master of Public Administration from the University of Missouri–Kansas City. She has lived in Leawood, Kansas, for more than 25 years with her husband, Jeffry, their two sons, Gilli and Eitan, their dog Skeye, and Stuart the "big" bunny.
When she's not writing, Karen can be found watching her boys play soccer, cheering for Sporting Kansas City, practicing yoga, traveling to her favorite places like Israel and Costa Rica, and celebrating life's moments with friends and family.
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